This happens for a number of good reasons: mothers are usually more involved with their special needs child's daily care and choice of programs and therapies and women are more likely to choose to become teachers and therapists for young children.īut a much more significant issue is the reality that fathers of autistic sons are often put off by their son's lack of interest in typical male activities such as team sports, working with tools, and so forth. Some possibilities include creative movement and dance, walking in the woods, attending concerts, and even fishing.Īll too often, children with autism wind up living in a world of women. Watch and listen to your child, and consider activities that fall outside of the typical. But that doesn't mean your autistic child has no interests. Is he fascinated by Sesame Street? Discover why everyone is talking about Big Bird! As you find ways to join your child in his interests, whether verbally or non verbally, you'll find more ways to play and connect.įew children with autism are likely to be interested in typical activities such as team sports. Does your child love model trains? Find your inner railroad buff. A better choice is to focus not on your own preferences, but on your child's. Dad loves baseball, so he signs up his son for Little League, and the experience is wonderful.Ĭhildren with autism are less flexible in their interests than typical children, so it is often an uphill struggle to get them to engage in your favorite pastimes. Mom loves to dress up, so she buys dress up clothes for her daughter, who joins with Mom in her interest. It's not unusual for a parent to impose her personal interests on her child, sometimes with great success. If they have a tough time understanding spoken words like "Let's play with Elmo," it's fine to let your body do the talking by modeling the kind of play you have in mind. Rather than waiting to hear from your child, let your child hear from you. That means it's up to you, the parent, to initiate play. That's not because children with autism don't enjoy chase games or time with Mommy, but rather because they don't yet have the skills to envision what they want, put words to that vision, and communicate their desires. Parents of children with autism would generally give their eye teeth to hear that kind of request. In fact, many parents get very tired of hearing "Mommy, come play!" or "Daddy, you be the monster and chase me!" Many young children can't wait to get their parents involved in play. There's a good chance that your assumptions are wrong. Don't assume that a flat tone, lack of eye contact, or difficulty with staying focused mean your child isn't having fun. Body language, including eye contact, appropriate gestures and facial expressions, can be even more challenging. People with autism, however, may not speak at all or may use a flat tone even when excited. Most of the time, you can make a good guess about a person's feelings by looking at his face, listening to his tone of voice, or watching his body language. How are parents supposed to connect with a child who doesn't ask questions, initiate play, enjoy sports, or want to try new things? Here are some tips for parents who want a strong relationship with their autistic child but aren't sure how to get started.ĭon't Make Assumptions About Your Child's Thoughts and Feelings Often, they can seem completely self-absorbed, and appear to be more interested in flicking their fingers or lining up objects than in playing or interacting with other people. Children with autism think, speak, and behave differently from their typical peers.
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